April 26, 2011

Day 65-Getting Back into the Game for Spring (sponsored post)

The sun is finally out. The temperature is steadily rising. Tulips of every color are blooming up and down Park Avenue. We've faced more than our fair share of April showers this month in Manhattan, but spring has finally sprung! The city dwellers have finally stopped hibernating and are venturing outdoors-what better way for this In the Moment gal to spend spring than by getting over her Off the Market winter fling with some fresh dating prospects. It's time to get back in the game!

Ok guys-before you go Groundhog Day on me and threaten to crawl back into your hole until my prowling calms down, remember this is all about casual dating fun!

Thankfully, I found a site that has great tips for helping to put the spring back into my step: HowAboutWe.com. Get this-they match singles up by what types of dates you want to go on!

Even better, they are sharing some great spring fling tips for how to get yourself out the house and into the arms of another single cutie pronto! To make life even easier, the site is even offering a special 33% discount on membership with their services (promo code: SpringFun).

5 Easy Tips for Successfully Landing a Date This Spring

1-Ladies, ASK GUYS OUT: Men and women are asking one another out at equal rates and in fact, ladies are at a slight advantage. Dates proposed by women get an average of 5.8 responses each, while men get 5.5. Who knew! I think this theory will be tested by me on the guy down the hall at work...stay tuned. They are away this week!

2-Be SPECIFIC: Dates that involved doing something, such as eating at a specific restaurant or doing a specific activity, are 40% more successful than an ambiguous date idea. As a single girl who has spent one too many "dates" staying in, please do yourself a favor and take this advice. Don't leave it up to your significant (or insignificant) other!

3-PLAN ahead: Wednesday is the best day to ask someone out on a date. The worst day to propose a date? SUNDAY. Good news because I don't know how I'll ask a guy out while simultaneously sitting on my couch in pj's...

4-Keep it SHORT: A date idea that gets communicated in the 120-140 characters is ideal, so keep it to the length of a Tweet. But let's clarify-don't rely on social media to get your point across. Phone or in-person always trumps other forms of communication. Just thought I'd slip that in as part of my anti-text campaign...

5-2-Part Dates have the MOST success: 60% of the most responded to dates are two-fold: a short, active part followed by a more intimate second location. Example: "How about we practice our slices at the driving range then get some slices at my favorite brick-over pizza joint- it's just a few blocks away." This reminds me-I've never been to Chelsea Piers to the driving range...or to the Bronx zoo...or the Central Park carousel, all of which would be PERFECT dates followed by my favorite food pizza.

So step away from the computer already and enjoy the weather. I know this OTMITM girl is going to do so!

I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!

April 15, 2011

Day 76-What Goes Down, MUST Come Up

So last time I wrote, I was having a pretty low point, flailing about in life, especially in the dating department. Since then, it's been a down and up kind of week. I ended my casual "whatever" when I realized we weren't on the same page. An old love suddenly popped back in my life, now in the form of a old friend (which was particularly welcomed, especially coming off of a "whatever" breakup that was nevertheless hurting from the day before). And I went on a legit coffee date. Ok, not sooo legit in that I paid for myself before the guy arrived in order to secure a table. Guy was nice, but right now, a guy needs to walk through hot coals to get my attention. But the week has shown me once again that you have absolutely no idea what the universe has in store and despite how down things are feeling, feelings are temporary. Meanwhile, I am DONE thinking about guys (despite the fact I spotted some cuties this week on our floor). I have way too much on my plate and now's the critical time to focus and stay focused...did you know women are more relationship-focused while men are more task-focused? Apparently, that's always been my problem so I'm tapping into their mindset and working on my own skillset and 401k. More acting, blogging, dancing and getting back to what I want out of this life.... Which is suddenly TBD. But I'm ok with that. My favorite line from You've Got Mail, one of my favorite go-to romantic comedies, is "there is the possibility of someone else." Well, I'm not looking for the possibility of someone else per se, but possibility, in general. And that's the best part of the unknown. What goes down must come up and vice-versa. And I'm now in the mood to get back in the moment and set myself up for some good possibilities. Plus, we're shooting a promo video this weekend for Single Edition which is exciting, my parents are in town to visit, and I just treated myself to a facial for getting my tax refund. Maybe I'll even take a break from thinking about the possibilties. This moment is feeling pretty good just as is. I'm Off the Market & In the Moment!

April 9, 2011

Day 82-Not Feeling So In the Moment

I've been a really bad Off the Market In the Moment girl lately. I am just totally lost and can't seem to re-connect with the empowering feelings of purpose and independence I had when I started this blog. Instead, I am having trouble staying grounded and in control. And analyzing and re-analyzing....sound familiar? But I guess I haven't been acting the part of OTMITM lately either...sometimes life gets in the way, and staying true to yourself just gets really hard. So I've avoided writing about it in hopes that the situation would just go away. Oh yeah-I've given up Facebook for the time being, too. It was pulling me down in a big way as I find that I constantly compare myself to others when I've got downtime before work. And during work. And after work. When I wake up on Saturday mornings....and it's just an energy and time drainer. I'm sure I'll be back soon, but for now, I need to self-protect. Didn't you know that comparison is the thief of joy? As I look back over the past few months, I should have seen these feelings coming. I grew slack in writing, didn't hold myself as accountable and started wearing my heart on my sleeve again. And while I am hands down, not in a relationship, let's just say that I've discovered that casual dating is never casual unless you just don't care. So here I am, trying to check in with 80ish days left, and I'm not much better than I started. Though wait-I am aware of what I'm experiencing. While I still may have trouble controlling these bouts of insecurity, I am at least now recognizing the source. So I guess that's progress? Maybe? I am grasping at straws.... But if there's anything I've learned, it's that life is a process, and so I need to recognize that a year's mission is just not going to change 26 years of behavior. Even Elizabeth Gilbert, author of EAT PRAY LOVE had a sequel! I just wish I didn't struggle against myself so hard. It is just EXHAUSTING. But today's a new day, and I will continue to work on it. I'm Off the Market & In the Moment